文文画画
July 11th, 2010 8:12 PM 1432 Comments Filed under: 文史记载 Feed for this Entry
文文心血来潮..看到文妈在画画..吵嚷着也要画..还非说文妈努力创作的作品是自己的..一番折腾..文妈妥协了..搬出一系列画画工具..让文文在一旁小板凳上开始创作..
一旁关注之下..发现文文的画风相当奔放..出笔丝毫不拖泥带水..不出十分钟..洋洋洒洒已经达成一副墨竹雅图（文爸自己推测）实在惊为天人..小子日后必成一代画匠..嘎嘎嘎..
文文搁笔后亦是忧然自得..不时对着自己的作品笑而不语..颇有宗师风范..酷..
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October 2nd, 2011 at 09:02 am
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:03 am
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:14 am
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:15 am
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:28 am
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:29 am
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:43 am
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:53 am
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:54 am
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:06 am
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:08 am
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:21 am
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:22 am
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:37 am
The covers of this book are too far apart.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:38 am
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:03 am
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:17 am
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:18 am
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:34 am
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:35 am
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:58 am
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
October 2nd, 2011 at 12:12 pm
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 12:13 pm
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
October 2nd, 2011 at 12:28 pm
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
October 2nd, 2011 at 12:30 pm
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
October 2nd, 2011 at 12:56 pm
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
October 2nd, 2011 at 01:10 pm
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
October 2nd, 2011 at 01:12 pm
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
October 2nd, 2011 at 01:32 pm
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
October 2nd, 2011 at 01:33 pm
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
October 2nd, 2011 at 02:11 pm
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
October 2nd, 2011 at 02:14 pm
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
October 2nd, 2011 at 02:27 pm
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
October 2nd, 2011 at 02:31 pm
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
October 2nd, 2011 at 02:56 pm
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
October 2nd, 2011 at 03:08 pm
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
October 2nd, 2011 at 03:11 pm
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
October 2nd, 2011 at 03:23 pm
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
October 2nd, 2011 at 03:27 pm
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
October 2nd, 2011 at 03:39 pm
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
October 2nd, 2011 at 03:54 pm
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
October 2nd, 2011 at 04:06 pm
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
October 2nd, 2011 at 04:09 pm
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
October 2nd, 2011 at 04:58 pm
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
October 2nd, 2011 at 04:59 pm
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:13 pm
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:14 pm
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:29 pm
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:29 pm
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:31 pm
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:32 pm
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:38 pm
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:38 pm
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:40 pm
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:40 pm
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:40 pm
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:41 pm
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:45 pm
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:45 pm
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:57 pm
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:57 pm
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
October 2nd, 2011 at 05:58 pm
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:00 pm
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:00 pm
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:10 pm
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:13 pm
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:13 pm
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:14 pm
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:18 pm
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:24 pm
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:26 pm
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:29 pm
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:31 pm
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:37 pm
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:37 pm
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:38 pm
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:38 pm
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:39 pm
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:39 pm
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:39 pm
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:50 pm
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:53 pm
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:57 pm
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
October 2nd, 2011 at 06:57 pm
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:04 pm
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:04 pm
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:05 pm
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:06 pm
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:07 pm
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:10 pm
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:10 pm
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:12 pm
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:13 pm
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:18 pm
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:19 pm
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:19 pm
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:19 pm
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:20 pm
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:28 pm
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:29 pm
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:30 pm
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:31 pm
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:33 pm
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:34 pm
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:41 pm
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:41 pm
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:42 pm
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:43 pm
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:44 pm
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:45 pm
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:45 pm
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:46 pm
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:48 pm
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:48 pm
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:55 pm
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:56 pm
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:56 pm
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
October 2nd, 2011 at 07:58 pm
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:00 pm
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:00 pm
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:05 pm
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:09 pm
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:11 pm
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:11 pm
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:13 pm
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:18 pm
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:18 pm
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:19 pm
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:22 pm
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:23 pm
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:26 pm
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:26 pm
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:28 pm
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:28 pm
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:29 pm
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:30 pm
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:35 pm
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:36 pm
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:36 pm
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:40 pm
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:43 pm
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:43 pm
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:47 pm
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:47 pm
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:47 pm
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:48 pm
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:49 pm
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:49 pm
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:49 pm
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
October 2nd, 2011 at 08:58 pm
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:00 pm
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:01 pm
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:11 pm
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:14 pm
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:14 pm
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:15 pm
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:15 pm
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:15 pm
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:16 pm
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:16 pm
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:17 pm
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:17 pm
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:17 pm
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:17 pm
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:20 pm
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:25 pm
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:35 pm
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:37 pm
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:41 pm
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:41 pm
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:42 pm
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:43 pm
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:43 pm
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:45 pm
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:46 pm
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:48 pm
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:55 pm
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:56 pm
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:56 pm
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:56 pm
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
October 2nd, 2011 at 09:57 pm
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:02 pm
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:07 pm
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:07 pm
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:10 pm
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:11 pm
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:11 pm
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:12 pm
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:13 pm
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:14 pm
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:14 pm
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:16 pm
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:18 pm
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:21 pm
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:29 pm
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:34 pm
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:34 pm
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:39 pm
The truth is more important than the facts.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:40 pm
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:41 pm
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:42 pm
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:42 pm
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:54 pm
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:56 pm
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
October 2nd, 2011 at 10:56 pm
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:07 pm
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:07 pm
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:08 pm
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:09 pm
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:10 pm
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:10 pm
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:11 pm
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:13 pm
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:20 pm
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:20 pm
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:21 pm
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:22 pm
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:23 pm
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:25 pm
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:31 pm
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:34 pm
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:37 pm
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:38 pm
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:39 pm
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:39 pm
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:40 pm
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:46 pm
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:48 pm
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:54 pm
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:55 pm
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:56 pm
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:58 pm
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
October 2nd, 2011 at 11:59 pm
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:00 am
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:01 am
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:03 am
The covers of this book are too far apart.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:08 am
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:10 am
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:11 am
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:12 am
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:12 am
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:13 am
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:15 am
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:18 am
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:22 am
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:24 am
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:26 am
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:28 am
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:30 am
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:31 am
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:31 am
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:33 am
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:36 am
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:38 am
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:39 am
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:39 am
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:40 am
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:40 am
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:41 am
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:41 am
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:42 am
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:42 am
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:47 am
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:48 am
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:48 am
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:48 am
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:48 am
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:49 am
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:52 am
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:52 am
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:53 am
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
October 3rd, 2011 at 12:59 am
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:02 am
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:02 am
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:04 am
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:05 am
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:05 am
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:06 am
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:08 am
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:09 am
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:10 am
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:11 am
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:12 am
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:13 am
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:14 am
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:14 am
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:16 am
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:17 am
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:19 am
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:20 am
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:20 am
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:25 am
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:26 am
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:31 am
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:32 am
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:33 am
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:35 am
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:36 am
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:37 am
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:37 am
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:38 am
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:39 am
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:39 am
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:39 am
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:39 am
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:40 am
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:43 am
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:44 am
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:44 am
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:47 am
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:50 am
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:56 am
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 01:59 am
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:02 am
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:02 am
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:02 am
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:02 am
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:04 am
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:04 am
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:05 am
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:05 am
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:05 am
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:05 am
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:07 am
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:07 am
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:08 am
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:08 am
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:09 am
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:10 am
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:14 am
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:16 am
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:19 am
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:23 am
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:24 am
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:25 am
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:26 am
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:27 am
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:27 am
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:27 am
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:29 am
I am not young enough to know everything.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:30 am
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:32 am
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:33 am
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:33 am
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:33 am
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:35 am
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:35 am
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:36 am
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:36 am
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:37 am
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:37 am
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:38 am
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:39 am
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:40 am
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:42 am
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:44 am
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:45 am
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:46 am
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:48 am
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:50 am
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:50 am
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:51 am
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:51 am
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:53 am
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:53 am
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:55 am
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:56 am
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:57 am
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:57 am
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
October 3rd, 2011 at 02:58 am
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:01 am
If a man does his best, what else is there?
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:02 am
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:04 am
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:04 am
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:05 am
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:08 am
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:09 am
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:12 am
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:12 am
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:14 am
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:15 am
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:15 am
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:18 am
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:19 am
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:22 am
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:23 am
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:23 am
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:24 am
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:24 am
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:25 am
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:26 am
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:28 am
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:29 am
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:30 am
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:30 am
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:30 am
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:31 am
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:32 am
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:33 am
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:33 am
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:34 am
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:35 am
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:36 am
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:36 am
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:37 am
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:37 am
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:37 am
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:40 am
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:40 am
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:46 am
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:47 am
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:48 am
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:51 am
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:51 am
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:55 am
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
October 3rd, 2011 at 03:57 am
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:00 am
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:00 am
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:01 am
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:01 am
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:01 am
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:01 am
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:01 am
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:02 am
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:04 am
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:04 am
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:04 am
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:05 am
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:06 am
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:11 am
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:13 am
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:14 am
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:15 am
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:16 am
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:16 am
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:17 am
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:17 am
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:17 am
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:18 am
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:18 am
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:19 am
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:20 am
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:22 am
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:23 am
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:24 am
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:24 am
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:27 am
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:28 am
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:29 am
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:29 am
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:31 am
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:31 am
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:32 am
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:33 am
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:34 am
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:37 am
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:38 am
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:40 am
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:44 am
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:47 am
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:48 am
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:48 am
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:51 am
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:51 am
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:52 am
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
October 3rd, 2011 at 04:57 am
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far.